So my son was getting to preK. We (my husband and I) enrolled him to Al-Iman School. This was great, to find an islamic school here in the USA!! This is what pluralism, respect, and true American pride all about. Not only school, we have this big Masjid located in the next building that as well known as Islamic Center. I posted on my FB that I had a great first American Ramadhan here.
So back to the school. First day, he was very excited. He got his backpack ready, lunch box, snacks, pillow and blanket for nap time. All perfect. Then when we arrived at school he started to worry and asked me to stay. So then i stayed at school, the whole day, until the dismissal time.
2nd day, still excited. But when i said Good Bye. He cried out loud, holding my hand so tight..
I remembered, on the day my son was interviewed by the school before he accepted here. The teacher asked me few questions such as.. Is he potty trained? Eating difficulties? etc..
I said my son is potty trained since 1.5 years old, just give him the flushable wipes and he knows what to do. He can eat by himself as long as the food is not complicated, finger food like finger cuts veggies, noodle and sushi are his favorite. I did not mentioned that noodle specifically referred to Indomie ;p
He can do the alphabet, build some simple words from the same family sounds, he can read level 1 with help, and recites around 8 short surah from al-quran. I was soooooo proud of him, can't stop talking about how good he is.. Then the teacher said, what is your expectation after he attends this school..
I expect him to be more confident and comfort about himself.. Then the teacher said, he's only three, we can work on that.. I said, he is very attached to me, he will start to panic if he couldn't find me around. He trusts nobody but me. He's a mommy's boy, always mommy's boy, and somehow i always, always around him. Then i started asking her to be gentle on him, easy on him, be merciful, and this..and that.. and whatever i blabbered about lots of things that intentionally to let her know my message was actually: 'please you gotta look after my son perfectly, teach him something new in the way i love him, can you? i can trust you right?'
I was a freaking mom.
The teacher then said, "Ma-am, it's alright, you eventually gotta let him go. I think he is ready. Are you ready?"
I just realized that i was NOT ready. That day, 2nd day of the school, when my son started to cry again, i felt fail, devastated, defeated. I felt my decision was all wrong.. And the drama last for the whole week.. I felt high and dry, dunno how long this will last.. Some friends and neighbors giving me support, I truly thankful for their support, even a girl told my son that she had the same situation that she missed her mom on her first days at preK, she shared her experiences and how she deal with it. I did not know if my son understand her sharing.. Until today.
This morning my son woke up and cried. "I don't wanna go to school..."
I bathed him, prepared breakfast for him, and he ate all the cereals in the bowl. He said "I will cry.. Are you gonna stay?" I said i cannot stay, and he knows that. He started to cry again.
Arriving at school, he met his teacher, still crying, and then he wiped his tears and back to me he said
'You will come back. Good bye, Mom..' and off he went playing with other kids..
I was and am a proud mom, and always.
For some people this story probably just nothing, but to me this was a history..
