Proud Mommy

I was about to write about the next chapter of my life in the US. It was about transportation here in Raleigh, where to shop, how to get here, education, cheap stuff (or sometimes free stuffs) to fil in your humble apartment, where to hang out, and my favorite places.. But lets skip this all, i gotta write one of the most important event in my life..

So my son was getting to preK. We (my husband and I) enrolled him to Al-Iman School. This was great, to find an islamic school here in the USA!! This is what pluralism, respect, and true American pride all about. Not only school, we have this big Masjid located in the next building that as well known as Islamic Center. I posted on my FB that I had a great first American Ramadhan here. 

So back to the school. First day, he was very excited. He got his backpack ready, lunch box, snacks, pillow and blanket for nap time. All perfect. Then when we arrived at school he started to worry and asked me to stay. So then i stayed at school, the whole day, until the dismissal time.

2nd day, still excited. But when i said Good Bye. He cried out loud, holding my hand so tight.. 

I remembered, on the day my son was interviewed by the school before he accepted here. The teacher asked me few questions such as.. Is he potty trained? Eating difficulties? etc..

I said my son is potty trained since 1.5 years old, just give him the flushable wipes and he knows what to do. He can eat by himself as long as the food is not complicated, finger food like finger cuts veggies, noodle and sushi are his favorite. I did not mentioned that noodle specifically referred to Indomie ;p

He can do the alphabet, build some simple words from the same family sounds, he can read level 1 with help, and recites around 8 short surah from al-quran. I was soooooo proud of him, can't stop talking about how good he is.. Then the teacher said, what is your expectation after he attends this school..

I expect him to be more confident and comfort about himself.. Then the teacher said, he's only three, we can work on that.. I said, he is very attached to me, he will start to panic if he couldn't find me around. He trusts nobody but me. He's a mommy's boy, always mommy's boy, and somehow i always, always around him. Then i started asking her to be gentle on him, easy on him, be merciful, and this..and that.. and whatever i blabbered about lots of things that intentionally to let her know my message was actually: 'please you gotta look after my son perfectly, teach him something new in the way i love him, can you? i can trust you right?' 

I was a freaking mom.

The teacher then said, "Ma-am, it's alright, you eventually gotta let him go. I think he is ready. Are you ready?"

I just realized that i was NOT ready. That day, 2nd day of the school, when my son started to cry again, i felt fail, devastated, defeated. I felt my decision was all wrong.. And the drama last for the whole week.. I felt high and dry, dunno how long this will last.. Some friends and neighbors giving me support, I truly thankful for their support, even a girl told my son that she had the same situation that she missed her mom on her first days at preK, she shared her experiences and how she deal with it. I did not know if my son understand her sharing.. Until today.

This morning my son woke up and cried. "I don't wanna go to school..."

I bathed him, prepared breakfast for him, and he ate all the cereals in the bowl. He said "I will cry.. Are you gonna stay?" I said i cannot stay, and he knows that. He started to cry again.

Arriving at school, he met his teacher, still crying, and then he wiped his tears and back to me he said

'You will come back. Good bye, Mom..' and off he went playing with other kids..

I was and am a proud mom, and always. 

For some people this story probably just nothing, but to me this was a history..

My New Life in the USA..

I couldn't even remember when did the last time i wrote on my blog.. Now i'm here starting my life in the US. This is my 8th months and doing pretty well..


First months..
was suck.. i didn't have friends. Yeah, i met few Indonesian here, but new people not always turned to be your friend. But i had to admit they all very kind, compared to people in my beautiful Jekardah? In fact, one of the students helping my husband to picked me up at the airport on my arrival. Oh yes, i should tell you that i was traveling with my almost 3 years old son. Yes, without husband. Yes, my husband arrived 6 months earlier in the US, and it's gonna take another chapter on how i was struggling on that whole 6 months before my departure.. So with my son, i traveled 36 hours from Jakarta to Raleigh. I had two stop-over in Doha, and London. Four GIGANTIC luggages, one small cabin luggage, one backpack, one stroller that i couldn't find at each transit city while i desperately needed it. So when i arrived in the US, i got to push all the stuffs with my feet, pushing the stroller, and pulling a small luggage. And, alhamdulillah, the officer at the immigration let me go through without even opening any of my luggages. THANK YOU Sir!! God Bless You!

Officer: Seriously?
Me: Yea, I know..
Officer: You travel alone?
Me: Technically with this little Man (sitting on the stroller)
Officer: From London all alone? Me: From Jakarta to Doha to London to Raleigh..
Officer: Just gimme your custom card, anything to declare?
Me: Nope
Officer: Just Go
Me: Really? Thank You! God Bless

And there at the arrival lobby, oooh hi my dear husband with his friend!!! Another help from the God. If there was only my husband came to picked me up, the luggages will never fit in our car's trunk!

The next weeks was series of a jet leg, a driver license study, a driver license test, a failed, another test, finally pass the test(a friend said to me, if you drive in Jakarta, you can drive anywhere in the world hahaha! kinda true), i was also getting a work permit, apply to anything that US gov offers for resident, and facing the truth that my body is not being designed for four weathers, especially the frozen one.. My face cracking, my skin was dry, some bleed here and there.. the only survival kit i had was, Johnson and Johnson baby cream that i brought all the way flying from Jakarta, and didn't work as i expected because it was not -definitely not- a cream for me nor for the freezing weather.. Don't blame the cream nor the brand, blame my idiocy.. The cream felt burning my skin when i applied it on my freezing skin. Lesson: next time don't use your son's cream for your face, because they don't manufactured for that purpose, ok? noted.

But there was also good parts. I found that the city is unlike Jakarta at all. Not so many shopping malls (in fact there's only one nearby, in which takes fifteen minutes of American driving to get there), no traffics, i can only find tall buildings around downtown, point of interest was mostly parks, lakes, and museums. So yeah, this was (and is ) definitely not Jakarta. I found a good Public Library where my son can join the story time everyday, and borrow as much books as he wants everyday. I found my favorite lake, a Big Masjid for me to keep in touch the Lord, a Farmers Market where i can find good vegetables, green ways, halal meat shop and some dollar stores. I thought "I'll live" and yes i survive.

Apartment: You cannot choose your neighbor..
Lucky to find apartment after long sleepless search in Jakarta. I had to make phone calls to some properties in the US to confirm if they actually has the available one. But, neighbor was not in the agreement.

What's with the neighbor? So in a building there always be 8 units, 4 in down floor and 4 in the upper floor. I was lucky to get a very kind Indonesian family in my building, and another two families in separate buildings, they're the best neighbor ever!! They cook super delicious food and i always get the tester hahaha!! Thank you!

But i always have this strange habit from my upper neighbor.. Only the upper neighbor, yes, the one that exactly above mine. First time i moved in, my neighbor was two students that kept watching drama serial in Dolby Stereo System, my apartment shakes whenever they turned on their TV. Luckily (or not so lucky) the double trouble moved out. But another fellas coming in. She's a chinese mother with her son and naynay (grandma). She is an incredibly smart person, she's a Phd in her country and doing some history research stuffs in NC state. Her son, he doesn't speak English, not even a word. And naynay, she keeps thinking that i can actually understand what she says-until now. Well, i am a half chinese in my blood, my Dad's chinese, but the only words i know was xiexie, and ni hao..

So the next thing happened was, i was excited that she and her family moved in. I thought that my son will make new friend, and he did. So the kid next-door started to play in my place, once a week, twice a week, and everyday. I didn't mind, my son always want a brother or sister while i couldn't even think about having another children, not for now, so this was perfect. Until. He's not only coming everyday, but every time. Anytime i arrived from anywhere, like for example i just got back from Walmart, Naynay will noticed and marched down the stairs and put the kid - through my big window- in my apartment. Funniest part, she left the kid with me and back upstair.

I was exhausted, i didn't even have a time cleaning up my apartment, or to get the stuffs from grocery arranged in the kitchen properly anymore. Nobody asking me if i'm ok he's playing in my place. Everyday, 8-9 am, they slide my window and put him in, just great. My friends said, i should talk to them and tell my objection. So i did. One day, this kid pee on my carpet. and i have to carry the carpet out the apartment to the top of my car and asked my husband to wash it. I get the mother and tell her about my situation. The conversation more or less just like this..

Me: Your son pee on my carpet
Her: Really? (and she looked at her son's pants), ah i'm sorry
Me: That's alright. Is he potty trained? i mean he's not wearing any diapers.
Her: No. Oh look at that, daddy is washing the carpet so funny.
Me: (Took a deep breathe and tried to understand 'funny' as cute)You should train him, he might not be able go to school if he's not potty trained.
Her: I don't know, he's afraid of the toilet...
Me: Ok, here's the thing, please let me know first before he's going to play here. He's very welcome here, but sometime i just got something else to do and not be able to keep an eye on both kiddos..
Her: Ok
Me: and please teach him to say 'pee' or 'bathroom' whenever he feels like going to.. id be happy to help him
Her: I don't know..
Me: (awkward face and speechless and feeling bad for saying those things..)

So the next few days nobody came to my place. One day after all the awkward moments, Naynay came with a huge plate of homemade noodle. She spoke something in her language, i nod and nod and nod, and took the noodle, she looked happy after that. So the lesson from the incident and all the craziness was cultural lags could make a very bad communication. I remembered say 'It's ok he can play here' and that was me was sending a wrong message to my neighbor, and they received it very well.

Later days i understood that they did not mean to sneak and put the kid like everyday in my place in a very early morning. Maybe, they thought, because i like kids and i'm a typical of a 'yes-go-ahead-person' (because that's just Indonesian sounds like) so they thought it was all completely fine to open somebody's window in the morning and put your kid in. It was all my fault at the first place. Now, me and the upper neighbor get along very well, the kids play together, we share food, we talk and share some information, this is just great, a happy ending ;)

I gotta get my dinner. This is a good start after a long break, i will write again. maybe once a week. let's see..