learn and learn

Alhamdulillah, this ramadhan brings me so many lesson and blessing in life. I was listening to my husband who told me about what he heard at the mosque earlier. Simply he said that the best job and career is when it makes you closer to Allah. I remember at the time when i was still working at the office, i kept my prayers in 'injury time' especially for Ashar calls, i ussually did it at 5pm, not in mushalla or mosque but in an empty meeting room or in my boss's office (actually my office has 3 mushalla at the 20th, 19th, and 16th fl but still..), and i did it really fast to catch-up another deadline that i have to fulfill. Astagfirullah.. I was an idiot, why would i have to put 'world stuffs' at the first place and ignoring what Allah told us to do? it was simple, for the monthly salary (what a shame..), or another overtime addition, or great performance, and becoming a high achiever. However, i was working very hard.. too hard.. and with that attitude, i didn't get anything, in fact, i believe i told you earlier about how my mid-performance was terrible. I think i get it now.

This is the Hadist i actually heard long before i listened to what my husband said - and i think i was only listening without understanding the meaning at the time.. shame.

Barangsiapa memperbaiki hubungannya dengan Allah maka Allah akan menyempurnakan hubungannya dengan manusia. Barangsiapa memperbaiki apa yang dirahasiakannya maka Allah akan memperbaiki apa yang dilahirkannya (terang-terangan). (HR. Al Hakim)


Oh another thing, on my last post, i thought that i haven't told you about the privilege of being a housewife, which i actually did. I said i am happier.
There must be plenty of reasons why people get happier than ever. One of the reason that i am happier now that my husband is guiding me -and keeping- me in the right path, that way i will always close to Allah. My husband always share what he got from the mosque. I love it. It helps me understand stuffs in the right point of view.

There a lot more thing that i have to consider as privilege, but sometime i just need a time to understand it because this is something new, marriage life has always been something new in everyday. Still don't get it?

Well, here an example. It was the first day i came up to the office after miscarriage bed rest, and my boss called me to get to her office. She was asking me about my feeling, and my answer was : "i am fine but i was really upset."
I was physically recovered but i felt upset. When i got married i knew i will be a mother - one day - but who knew that i will get pregnant so fast after three months of marriage? I knew nothing about being pregnant or even bigger to have a baby. So i started to learn, i read books about pregnancy, i drink and eat nothing but healthy food, i don't drive and took cab everyday to reach the office, and i kept eating those pills, hormones and vitamins the doctor told me. I was shaping myself to be ready for motherhood. Then i got a miscarriage. I was really sad and upset cos i've been preparing everything i can to be a mother. That was a big lesson.

It also happen in marriage life, everyday is a new lesson, you never experience what will happen tomorrow, so it is understandable if sometime we feel upset, we feel not right, or feel discomfort. We never been there, we never done that. It can be fun, sparkle, or maybe awkward and hurtful. BUT. Trust me all the thing happens in your day-by-day marriage life is simply to train you, to get you prepared for something bigger. My un-expert suggestion is: never ever jump to a conclusion in a situation at home. Often, when you explore more, listen carefully, improving your willing to understand, and keep trying to be a better person and a better wife, you will find more privileges than what you can imagine.

So, i hope you understand why i was answering 'i have no idea'
I must be less-exploring the situation, jumping fast to the conclusion without trying understand more, or i was not listening, i just hadn't seen it yet at the time.

I hope this will be a good share for you all.

so the answer is

people keep asking me what is the privilege of being a housewife? why do i get married so young - although i never think that i was too young to get married, i was 24 when i got married, but anyway..
Other question keep coming through my ears are
- can you go hang out with your friends after married?
- is your husband giving you 'monthly salary' for the house-stuff?
- do you cook everyday?
- is that true that you always ask your husband before doing this or that?

First of all, i don't answer all of the following questions (not all of them) directly. I however, still have the privilege as a human to answer or not to answer those when it's not necessary. Sometime i just have t think before i talk (or write down) what would be the answer. It's not that i'm trying to make it up or telling a diplomatic answer, it's just that as a housewife those question would have so many different answers in many circumstances.

Second of all. Ok then i will try to answer those question here. AND. These answer might be change one day, don't ask me why, i just quite sure that some 'adjustment' and 'modification' and 'new-approach' of marriage life always happens.

What is the privilege of being a housewife?
My answer: Believe me, i have no idea. This is maybe the worst answer for the worst question ever. But honestly i have no idea what is the privilege.
The worst metaphor is probably like this scene:
This is my second year of marriage and i still don't have enough 'point rewards' to be redeemed to any kind of privilege. You know it's like you have a frequent flyer membership in an airplane company. when your membership is still new and you don't have enough point to be redeemed then you will still have to go on more traveling, more miles to get more points to get those privilege.

I know it's not a good metaphor. Some frequent flyer memberships do provide you with free lounge at the airport or get some discounts when you shop at duty-free shops. Well, i'll write and modify my answer when i get a better metaphor for this one. I think i do have one privilege that is confirmed: i am happier. That should be enough for a member with a low points like me uh?


Why do i get married so young?
My answer: AGAIN, my age was 24 when i got married, and it's not too young for an Indonesian girl. Believe me, some of girls in this country even getting marry on the age of 12. So, ask them not me.

Can i go hang out with friends after married?
I don't hang out very often. I'm not dying without friends around. To me, true friend are always there, and it's not that you always have a tight schedule to go on a movie, coffee, or lunch with friends all the time. This might sound crazy, but i adore the feeling of missing them, i fancy a quality time when we meet again and talking for hours about how are we going. For example, a month ago i met Afny. She was my classmate at university and we were live in the same dorm. Last time i saw her was on her wedding day, means last year. And when i met her again, it was awesome, so many stuffs we discuss and share, and i kinda like it.

Well, i still have more questions to answer, but not tonight.
Housewife gotta wake up early in the morning right? ahaha..

baby list of needs

I'm browsing for some stuffs i will need after giving birth. OMG!! Please do not jugde... Oh please.. Do i look like a freakin' out mom-to-be? This is my 4th months and i'm starting to think about this and that, let's just hope that this is a normal behavior for a first time mom-to-be.

I just made this check list of stuffs during pregnancy until delivery time, so on brief list, i will need this much...

- maternity clothes (dress, pants, shirts, panty) at lest 3-6 pcs
- extra size bra
- an anti-stretchmarks cream for my stomach
- a foot massage or reflexology once a week..
- a baby box
- baby pillow and bed cover
- baby bed
- baby bath tube
- towels (large, medium, and small sizes)
- baby soap, baby shampoo, baby oil, baby lotion, baby cream, cajuputi, telon oil
- baby powder and the case
- diapers
- baby scissor
- sterilized cotton buds and cotton balls
- baby wet tissue
- breast pad,
- maternity pads
- breast pump
- sarung
- perlak
- some new-born baby clothes
- a stroller
- baby gloves
- baby socks
- some new-born baby trousers and pants
- a baby bag
- a baby carrier
- milk bottles

oMG, that quite crazy list isn't it?
My husband absolutely gotta see this :)

happy ramadhan!

It's fasting time!

I always love ramadhan. Not only that the month is full of bless, i also always enjoy the taraweh, the holy quran reading in the mosque, and all the stuffs related to this month. They make me feel happy and bring me peaceful inside.

During my pregnancy i also try to keep on fasting. My doctor said OK as long as i don't feel dizzy or any cramping in my stomach. So, today is my 8th days, and i already break 3 days. As long as you feel healthy enough to keep the fasting, just go on. When you feel something weird is going on in your body, you can stop and break it.

Well, have a great Ramadhan this year!