It's been a while i don't write anything here.. My body was (and still) experiencing this hormonal-expansion, i keep vomiting and throwing out all of the food i just ate. To be honest, i still don't know what is the exact word to describe this symptoms, but i feel it's getting worse day by day..
My doctor gave me a whole week bed-rest, so i took a whole week day-off from the office. I guess it was the best thing that i can do at the time. I can't work, my head felt like burning when i saw the screen. At lunch, my throat couldn't find it's way to do 'peristaltic' so the food i eat keeps coming out and out and out, and i'm starving.. GOSH.. So this is confirmed, that my resignation is the best thing at least for now.
Resign? Yep. I have to concentrate to my pregnancy. I lost it once and i will not let it happen again. I did tell my bos about this and they understand. Especially Mr. Zyzanski.
Irek (Mr. Zyzanski's nickname), just invited me to have lunch yesterday. It was my first day back in the office after bed rest. We took a Chinese resto downstair at Crystal Jade and ordered some food for two. So he started to ask me about my pregnancy, how is my life going lately, and about my family. He even asked how i met my husband, hahaha.. Well, it was thoughtfull, i mean maybe he's the best supervisor i have ever had. He and his family are such nice people.
I told Irek that i cannot keep working with this condition. Keep vomiting while working is not an option to me. I can't give my support for the office while my body myself also needs support.
We also talk abou what am i going to do to kill the boreness after resigning, how my husband will support the family without me working, about how expensive baby are.. and eventually he said that 'There might be sleepless night, cries, and stuffs. But when you see them -children- everything is paid. They make uhm... complete is the rigt word'
To be honest, I do not worry at all about my resignation, i think what i do is worth than anything. I understand that things will financially crucial after having a baby, i have to admit that baby is expensive, they grow up and need some protection, food, clothes, and education later. But i believe, when Allah gives me this baby it means that Allah has a plan for us, for the baby, for the family. I believe that Allah is there with his plan, and first thing i have to do is to keep what Allah gives to me.
Irek also said that my decission is appreciated. He said that we can not eat Elephant as a whole Elephant, we have to eat it peice by piece, and my first piece is to keep my baby safe and healthy. I agree. You can't live a life and being bitchy and selfish by expecting too much.
My baby now is 9mm height, still tiny :)
it's my tenth weeks and, me and my husband really excited, why do i want to expect more than this?
Thank you Allah..
